Congratulations on taking the step to better your love life!

This is Empowered Dating, a course that will take you through the early stage of dating with clarity and confidence.

Some facts about me: I have been writing and researching about dating and relationships for over 7 years. I have a science degree with honours in Psychology from the University of Bristol, England. My work has appeared on many popular websites such as Refinery29, HuffPost UK, Cosmopolitan, Thought Catalog, and Medium. My advice was featured in Stylist Magazine UK, and Scribd Inc. released my audio course on anxious attachment style as part of their Scribd coach series.

If we go back further, I was born in Vietnam and moved to the UK when I was 17. My parents had enough money to send my sister abroad, but when it was my turn, their business hit a rough patch and I had to rely on my sister, who was working and married at that point, as well as help from relatives. It was just enough for me to live by. 

Like many women, I struggled with my body image, self-esteem, and anxiety, which was intensified when I was exposed to a completely different culture like in London. I felt lonely and disconnected as an intentional student, and it wasn’t much better when I started my corporate job either. Dating was even more difficult. I had internalised racism and misogyny and lacked a father figure, so I always wanted to escape my life and look for a man's love to fill me up. I developed a pattern of dating people fundamentally different from me (different races, different cultures, different values, different lifestyles - you name it) who didn’t appreciate me and made me feel worse about myself.

As a result, I was single for a long time. I didn’t just write those articles from nothing - Throughout my early twenties, I’d collected many dating experiences and painful lessons learned the hard way, far above my paygrade. I’d been rejected, humiliated, bullied, and traumatised. I’d been called ugly by the boy I liked. I’d been lied to and betrayed by an older guy whom I thought was my soulmate. I’d acted out of character, drowning in pain and shame, after being abused by a self-admitted psychopath. I’d almost lost myself to mindless dating and alcohol. I’d made mistakes that I thought would ruin my future forever. Trust me, you’re not alone. I understand how hard it is to navigate life and dating as a woman - especially as a minority woman. I didn’t realise back then that I was set up to fail by patriarchy, and there were so many factors that determined my life and dating experiences, two of which were my race and class. But my eyes are open now.

One thing that I’m very lucky to have is my resilience. Every time I fell, I stood up. Every time I came up against an obstacle, I found ways to get better. One milestone for me personally was when I decided to go to the gym in 2017, which helped me tremendously with self-confidence - not just about my appearance but about the fact that I was capable of taking care of myself. Then, in 2019, I made a series of self-commitments to turn my life around completely. I remember walking alone in the crowded Oxford Street (central London) with my head clouded by anxiety and flashbacks from a horrible break-up. I knew that if I kept going on like this, that’d be my life. No one would save me - certainly not the men who had broken my heart to pieces and had never really seen or cared about me in the first place. “This can’t be it,” I thought. I had to do something.

So I went to therapy to get the help I needed. I stopped dating altogether. No romantic interactions whatsoever. I made up my mind to either date seriously or not date at all. I took up new hobbies: I played badminton with a group of new friends, I enrolled in improv courses, I learned to swim for the first time, I rode a bike to work through the city of London, and I  traveled to Europe alone for the first time. These activities had one thing in common: They required me to be present. It was really hard at first as my brain was desperate for instant gratifications and escapes. But I pushed through. After a few months, it got easier. With a routine, I became healthier, calmer, and happier. I managed to sit with my feelings and be kind to myself.

During this time, I wrote many loving emails to myself, sending hope to my future. I used a website called Future Me that allows you to send emails to your own inbox at a later date. 

Before going to therapy, I sent myself this email:

“We're living a good, wholesome life. How? Because we just decided to.”

It reflected my core belief that I could change and I was responsible for my happiness.

In therapy, I sent myself another email, making a promise:

“What if I tell you, you will get what you want and more?

We will claim our space. We will stand firm, head held high, and portray our quality consistently. We will protect ourselves and our feelings. We will be careful who we let in. We will create value. We will be successful. We're quality. We must not sell ourselves short. 

My dear, I tell you again: You will get what you want and more. I promise you this.”

Writing down clearly what you want is a great way to manifest it because it signals to your brain how sure and serious you are.

I declared to myself in an email: 

“The next guy I meet I want to get married to him. I do not want to waste time anymore. I want a stable life. 

I'm a quality woman, I don't care about dating out of my league, I do not desire money or good look. I want someone my own league, similar background, same values, same vision, especially kind heart, a real man, and truly I want someone with depth who I can connect with. 

As I progressed in and outside of therapy, I started to feel whole and happy on my own. I emailed myself again. It was a month or two before I met my husband.

We're healthy, we're not anxious, we're mostly happy, we're rarely sad, we're more focused, we're more relaxed, we're more present. Sometimes we still have flashbacks and there are still negative feelings but these all pass. 

I make sure I do good, I feel good, and I'm good. I'm not putting anyone over my head ever again. I'm not basing my self-worth on anyone or any relationship ever again. I do not need approvals from anyone except for myself. I'm good now. I hope this time things are still going okay. I know shit can happen, we might make mistakes and feel shit again but it's okay, okay? 

I allow you. I know you'll learn and grow so I have nothing to worry about. It's a long journey, we will keep falling and standing back up every day, it's all expected, nothing to be scared of.

I shared with you these emails to show you that it’s all real. I hit my breaking point that led me to change the way I dated and carried myself completely. No more being overly nice, no more getting attached too soon, no more excusing red flags, no more dating on someone else’s terms. After this period of transformation, I put myself out there again and was pleased with a brand new dating experience. I no longer cared about being “picked” - I realised that that mindset was a product of patriarchy setting women up to always want male attention and approval and end up in a relationship centered around the man. No. I was the chooser, the one who made the judgments, the one who said yes or no.

I ended up going on dates with 2 different men, both of whom expressed verbally that they wanted to pursue a relationship with me - I wouldn’t take any less anyway. Both of them took me to a nice dinner on the first date and paid for them. But one of them stood out a lot more and made me laugh a lot louder, and that man ended up proposing to me with a gorgeous diamond ring a year later. I’m happily married now, but “the vetting” doesn’t stop there. Even in this relationship, it still takes skills and intention to communicate my needs and nurture our relationship in a way that continues to serve me.

Now, I can’t guarantee you that after taking this course, you’ll immediately find your husband, or you’ll have the exact same experience as I did. That’s impossible. The goal of this course is to give you the insights, mindsets, and strategies you need to make sound judgments and effective decisions that will serve you as a woman when meeting new people, regardless of who you are and your circumstances. It will help you put yourself first and see the world through your own eyes, not through a man’s eyes, so you can transform your reality right where you are, in big or small ways. It will inspire you to love and invest in yourself and your life, whether you’re in a relationship or not.

Actually, I have to warn you. As you immerse yourself in the perspective of this course, you might need to "shred skin" - you'll become a new you who always has your own best interest in mind and doesn't accept any less. You will gain a superpower to see through patriarchal bullshit and low-value behaviours and realise that it's everywhere. You might be shocked and sad at what you learn. You might need to let go of many people and find yourself a little lonely at first. But fear not. That's what it takes to slowly undo the conditioning and avoid the damage of patriarchy. That's taking out the toxicity from your life and making space for the right things and people. You're on the right path.

What this course will not do is convince you to date, analyse your past, or diagnose you - I take that, by signing up for my course, you want to date and find a serious, monogamous relationship. As a coach, I view you as a whole human being with the inner resources you need to achieve your goals and dreams.

I’m not in the business of teaching you to please, trick, or fix a man either. I trust that there are men out there who are whole, kind, mature, respectful, and intelligent. They, like you, have done their inner work and want a loving, committed relationship with a high-value woman. They want you to succeed and be the best version of yourself. This is the type of man I want you to look for (more on this later!), or stay single.

Module 2: Empowering mindsets

Module 4: How to move along like a pro

The course is designed to run for 4 weeks, one week for each module. When a new module is released, you'll receive an email notification. This is because the course has A LOT of information to go through. I want to make sure you have the time to take them in and don't feel overwhelmed and lost like you have to do it all at once. However, if you consume the content quickly and/or want to access a module before it's released, do let me know.

After the course has finished, you'll be able to access all the content of the course so you can look at it anytime you want later. If you have any questions at any time, leave a question in the lessons, or feel free to email me at ellen@ellennguyen.com. I'll get back to you!

Please note that this course is not intended to be a substitute for professional healthcare advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition. Never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read or seen in this course.

And please do not copy the content of this course and post it elsewhere. It's protected by copyright.

Are you ready?